Dear Mr. President,

I work on a derrick far offshore, & I seen something you should know about. We’re not alone. Humans, I mean. At first we thought the things were dolphins, but their faces weren’t right. Bobby tried to make contact. I didn’t hear what he said, but I think he offended them. Their heads went underwater. Then it was quiet. Then in a huge puff of steam and whatnot, the aliens zoomed right into space. I tell you, it was impressive. I thought we were about to explode or sink or both. so, I don’t know if they’ll be back, but maybe you should prepare, just in case?



p.s. I didn’t vote for you, but if you protect us from the aliens I will this time!

p.p.s. Bobby says he’s sorry, whatever he said.

p.p.p.s. I’m not crazy.